What are Tamales?
If you’re a fan of Tex-Mex cuisine, you know nothing beats a great tamale. A tamale is a corn-based dough filled with meat, cheese, beans, or other ingredients, wrapped in a corn husk or banana leaf and steamed until tender and moist. Tamales are a staple of Mexican and Central American cuisine, as well as Tex-Mex, and they are often made for holidays, especially Christmas, and other special occasions. But how to find great tamales in your town is the reason we’re here today.
Finding great tamales locally can be a challenge. You can’t just walk into any restaurant or grocery store and expect to find authentic, homemade tamales. You have to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who makes them; it’s been described by many as being similar to scoring drugs, or navigating the black market. Luckily, tamales are legal, but you still need connections, contacts, and a lot of luck.
Mullethead and Hambone to the Rescue!
So we’re here to help you out; I’m Mullethead, and I’m with my best friend Hambone. We’re from South Texas, we love rock and roll, country music, the outdoors, Tex-Mex, bragging, and big stuff! We’ve spent years searching for the best tamales in our town, and learned a thing or two along the way.
Join the Journey!
So sit back, relax, grab a margarita and enjoy our discussion as we share our tips on how to find great tamales in your town.
Mullethead: Hambone, my good buddy, I’m sure you’ve heard how difficult it is for people to find decent tamales in their towns? It’s like trying to navigate the black market for Tex-Mex goodness.
Hambone: You’re absolutely right, Mullethead. It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the needle is a tamale, and the haystack is a town full of mediocre Mexican food joints.
Mullethead: So you know it’s a real challenge my friend. But you know what they say, to find the best tamales, you’ve got to know someone whose knows someone.
Hambone: Ah, the secret tamale societies, because they guard their recipes like precious treasures! It’s like trying to score the tastiest contraband in town. And you were lucky, or we were lucky recently, when one of your co-workers gave you an awesome tamale at lunch one afternoon and after some teeth pulling turned you on to his connection, an Aunt who gets together with friends and family around the holidays for a tamalada, or tamale making party.
Mullethead: Yes, we are very fortunate, and because they make many more than their family needs they allow a select few Tex-Mex freaks like us to purchase the extras. Hey Hambone, what do you say we hit up that Tex-Mex joint on Chupacabra Street for some breakfast?
All This Tamale Talk is Torturing My Tummy!
Hambone: Sounds good to me, Mullethead. I’m starving.
Mullethead: As a matter of fact, you know what I could go for right now? Some tamales.
Hambone: Tamales? For breakfast?
Mullethead: Why not? Tamales are good any time of the day. They’re filling, delicious, and nutritious. and go great with scrambled eggs and pico de gallo.
Hambone: Nutritious? How do you figure?
Mullethead: Well, they have corn, which is a vegetable, often meat, for protein, sometimes cheese, which is dairy, sometimes beans, for fiber, and spices, which are antioxidants.
Hambone: Wow, you really know your stuff.
Mullethead: Thanks. I learned it from watching TV.
Hambone: Of course you did.
Where Do I Start?
(Mullethead and Hambone settle into a booth at the restaurant and continue their discussion.)
Mullethead: Anyway, so let’s spill the beans and share our wisdom. Who are “they” and how can one go about finding these elusive bundles of deliciousness?
Hambone: Well, Mullethead, basically the first step is to tap into your network. Ask your Tex-Mex-loving friends if they know any underground tamale suppliers. The more connected you are, the better your chances of finding the real deal.
Mullethead: Ah, the underground tamale railroad, I’ve heard whispers of it. So, once you’ve found a tamale contact, what kind should you expect to find?
What Tamale Types Should You Expect to Find?
There are many types of tamales, but the most popular ones are:
– Pork tamales: These are made with shredded pork cooked in a red Chile sauce.
– Chicken tamales: These are made with shredded chicken cooked in a red or green sauce.
РCheese tamales: Less common, these are made with varying types of white cheese, sometimes cream cheese and often chilis, including jalape̱o, poblano, or serrano, all of which have different levels of heat.
– Bean tamales: These are made with refried beans or frijoles, and sometimes yellow or white cheese.
– Dessert tamales: These are made with sugar, cinnamon, raisins, or other dried fruits, nuts, or chocolate.
Hambone: Wow, they all sound good. It’s a cornucopia of flavors, a symphony of succulence for the taste buds. So what’s the favorite?
Mullethead: Wow, well said Hambone, nicely done! The stars of the tamale party in these parts you ask? Pork tamales reign supreme. The succulent, slow-cooked pork, wrapped in a warm and moist corn blanket, is a taste sensation.
Hambone: Â Pork, huh? I’m more of a chicken man myself, but I can appreciate the allure of that juicy pork goodness.
Mullethead: Exactly. But not all tamales are created equal. You have to watch out for some signs of bad tamales:
Look Out for These Tamale Traps
– Dry tamales: These are tamales that have been overcooked or left out too long. As a result they lose their moisture and flavor. Whether it’s pork, chicken, or beef, the filling should be tender, juicy, and packed with flavor. So the meat should melt in your mouth like a South Texas sunset on a warm summer evening.
Hambone: Ah, nicely done Mullethead! What else should we look for?
Mullethead:
– Soggy tamales: These are tamales that have been undercooked. They become mushy and fall apart.
– Bland tamales: These are tamales that lack seasoning or sauce. They taste like cardboard.
– Greasy tamales: These are tamales that have too much fat, oil, or lard in them; they’ll make you queasy.
Hambone: No Bueno! And what about the all-important masa-to-filling ratio?
Mullethead: Aha! That’s the secret to a great tamale. They should be fat, or big-boned, but the masa should only be thick enough to hold the filling together, but not overpower it. It’s a delicate balance, my friend, like walking a tightrope in a sombrero.
Hambone:Â Bravo Mullethead, again waxing poetic!
How to Find Great Tamales in Your Town
Mullethead: Alrighty then! So how do you avoid these pitfalls? Firstly, you have to get your tamales from a reliable and experienced source, preferably from a Mother, Grandmother, or Aunt of a friend, or friends friend.
Hambone: And if that doesn’t work?
Mullethead: That’s the tricky part. You have to do some detective work.
Hambone: Like what?
Mullethead: Like this, here are some tips:
– Ask around: The best way to find good tamales is to ask around. Ask your friends, family, co-workers, as well as neighbors, Tex-Mex restaurant waitstaff, bartenders, or anyone who seems like they enjoy Tex-Mex food. They might have a secret tamale hookup they can share with you.
– Follow your nose: Another way to find good tamales is to follow your nose. Because, if you smell something delicious coming from a friend or neighbor’s house, car, or street vendor, chances are they have a tip. At any rate, don’t be shy, just walk up and ask, they may be a comrade in arms, because you might be surprised by what you discover.
– Look for signs or flyers: Sometimes, tamale makers will advertise their products with signs or flyers. So look for words like “tamales”, “tamaladas”, “tamale factory”, or “tamale lady”. Popular flyer locations are bulletin boards, which can be found in/at:
- City and community parks
- Coffee shops
- Supermarkets
- Beauty parlors
- Restaurants
- Bus stops
- Libraries
- Religious centers
- Community centers
- Chambers of commerce
- Â Schools
- Subways and train stations
- Senior centers
- Laundromats
- Gas stations
- Gyms
Follow your gut and see what you discover.
Hambone: What if That Doesn’t Work?
– Go online: If all else fails, you can always go online and search for tamales near me. There are websites, local food delivery apps, Yelp, TripAdvisor, social media pages as well as groups dedicated to Tex-Mex or tamale lovers. Consequently, you will likely find reviews, ratings, photos, and locations of tamale sellers. You can also order tamales online and have them delivered to your door: but this method may prove expensive, trial and error can be costly. Make sure you find highly reviewed sources, and read their reviews, the more reviews the better.
Hambone: Wow, that’s a lot of options. Mullethead, my enlightened amigo, you’ve given us a roadmap to tamale paradise. I can almost taste the glory. But tell me, what happens if we can’t find a trustworthy source for these Tex-Mex treasures?
What if I still can’t find great tamales?
Mullethead: Fear not, Hambone! Because if none of these are successful, you can always try making tamales yourself. Basically, gather the necessary ingredients, roll up your sleeves, and embark on a culinary adventure. What’s more, you might just become the tamale whisperer in your town. But remember, finding good tamales is not enough. You have to secure them.
Hambone: What do you mean?
Mullethead: I mean, once you find a good tamale source, you have to make sure you get enough of them because great tamales are in high demand, they run out fast, tamalada session output can vary widely.
Hambone: So what do you do?
What Do I Do When I find a Great Tamale Connection?
Mullethead: Well, here are some strategies:
– Order ahead: If you know when and where you can get good tamales, call ahead and place your order. That way, you can reserve your tamales and avoid disappointment. Ordering ahead may also prompt tamaladas to increase they’re output.
– Buy in bulk: So, if you have the chance, buy as many tamales as you can afford and store them in your freezer. That way, you can enjoy them whenever you want. (make sure to steam them from frozen for best results and invest in a stock pot with a lid and a stainless steel steamer basket).
– Share with others: When you have an abundance of tamales, spread the love, and share them with your family and friends. Tamales are made with love and they’ll appreciate your generosity and maybe return the favor someday.
Hambone: That sounds like a good plan.
Mullethead: It is. But there’s one more thing.
Hambone: What’s that?
Keep It Under Wraps
Mullethead: Keep your source a secret.
Hambone: Why?
Mullethead: Because if everyone knows where to get great tamales, they will become harder to find and the price will go up. And we don’t want that.
Hambone: No, we don’t.
Mullethead: So keep your tamalada discovery a secret. Don’t tell anyone except your closest friends. And even then, make them swear not to tell anyone else.
Hambone: Got it.
Mullethead: Good.
Hambone: Well, this has been very informative.
Mullethead: I’m glad you think so.
Hambone: Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.
Mullethead: You’re welcome.
Hambone: So…are we going to order some tamales now?
Mullethead: You bet we are.
Hambone: Awesome.
Mullethead: Let’s eat!
Enjoy, My Friends!
To sum up, scoring great tamales in your town requires some effort, but the reward is well worth it. By knowing what to look for in a great tamale and employing some detective work, you can find reliable sources for these delicious treats. So, asking around, following your nose, looking for signs, and utilizing online resources are all effective strategies. Once you find a great tamale source, it’s important to secure your supply by ordering ahead, buying in bulk, and sharing with others. Lastly, keeping your tamale source a secret helps preserve the availability and affordability of these culinary treasures. So, armed with these tips, go out and enjoy some fantastic tamales in your town. Happy Trails and Happy eating!
That’s all for now y’all, we’re Mullethead and Hambone thanking you for joining us today to discuss how to find great tamales in your town. Spread the Love!
